Is Pickleball Worth Hurting Friendships?
Pickleball is supposed to be fun, but anyone who plays regularly knows it can get complicated.
In my career as a professional player and coach, I’ve seen plenty of drama that starts on the court and carries into real life between friends, spouses, and long-time partners. What starts as a social game can quickly turn personal. There's a whole host of reasons how relationships can go south, and fast! Missed shots become, “You're not good enough for the group.” Egos get involved. People play numerous times a day instead of making time for the ones at home. Partners roll their eyes after mistakes.
Because pickleball is easy to learn and improvement can happen quickly, attachment to winning and status shows up early. Partner selection, line calls, rankings, and court politics all add pressure, especially when you’re playing with people you care about.
I’ve seen friendships fade, couples argue during long car rides home, and players avoid each other altogether. At that point, it’s worth asking a hard question. Is this game still bringing us joy, or is it starting to cost us relationships? I think competition itself isn’t the problem. Losing perspective is.
You’ll forget most of your wins. You won’t forget how someone treated you. No rec-court victory, DUPR rating bump, or medal is worth damaging a friendship. Ever.
Pickleball can be competitive and respectful at the same time. I love going to open play, bouncing around from court to court, laughing, and just having fun. I am competitive, and I can be hard on myself, but that doesn't mean I'm not aware of the people around me.
It’s worth checking yourself sometimes. Ask yourself: Am I here to have fun, meet people, and enjoy being a part of something?
No game is worth hurting friendships. Pickleball can absolutely test relationships, but it can sometimes strengthen them when we approach the court with respect, humility, and perspective. Just don’t lose sight of why you stepped on the court in the first place.
About the Author: Gina Cilento is a top 10 Senior Pro and multi-APP medalist who splits her time between competing and coaching. She’s the co-founder of The Pickleball Lab, a pod player for the Denver Iconics in the National Pickleball League, and co-host of Keeping It Real with Gina & Neil. Off the court, Gina shares her passion through her apparel line, The Pick, and her work with Empower Pickleball.
