Building Confidence When Playing Pickleball Against Men
You’ve signed up for mixed doubles, you step onto the court, and there he is on the other side — a guy who looks like he’s about to rip the cover off the ball. Suddenly, your dinks feel smaller, your drives feel softer, and your confidence shrinks faster than last year’s bathing suit. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Many women feel a dip in confidence when facing men in pickleball, whether in mixed play or casual games. The truth is, you don’t need to “hit harder” to compete. You just need the right mindset, a few tactical tools, and a little swagger.
Mindset: Flip the Script
Confidence starts between the ears. If you walk onto the court already assuming he’s going to overpower you, you’ve lost before you even start. Men often rely on pace, which makes them predictable. Your goal isn’t to match brute force — it’s to use their speed against them. Remember: pickleball is won with precision, patience, and placement, not just power.
Confidence builders:
Remind yourself that pace is predictable.
Treat their power as free energy you can redirect.
Focus on accuracy and placement instead of trading blows.
Handling Pace Without Panic
Yes, men often hit harder. But pace isn’t scary when you’re in control. With the right technique, you can turn those “rockets” into easy balls.
How to handle pace:
Soften your hands: Loosen your grip and absorb the ball into a calm reset.
Block with purpose: Send their speed back to their feet or into the cross-court kitchen.
Redirect, don’t muscle up: Use their power instead of trying to generate your own.
If he wants to play baseball, let him. You’ll keep playing chess. Afterall, pickleball matches are won when you’ve got the right strategy.
Court Position: Claim Your Space
Too often, women get stuck at the baseline while men charge the net. That positioning hands over control before the rally even begins. To feel confident, you’ve got to stand your ground.
Positioning strategies:
Get to the kitchen line early — that’s where points are won.
Own your half of the court and make your presence clear.
Be vocal: call shots, claim middle balls, and keep your partner engaged.
Confidence can be just as powerful as any drive. Sometimes it’s about body language and refusing to shrink back.
Asserting Control in Rallies
Control isn’t about who hits harder; it’s about who dictates pace and placement. Once you’re up at the line, you can take the reins.
Ways to assert control:
Target the backhand — even the hardest hitters hate awkward shots.
Mix it up: dinks, resets, surprise speed-ups.
Wait for the right ball, then finish with confidence.
Variety makes you unpredictable. And unpredictability? That’s power.
Practice Confidence Like a Skill
No one wakes up fearless against booming drives. Confidence is something you build with practice, reps, smart drills, and experience. Each time you reset a fastball or hold your ground at the line, you’re training both body and mind.
Pro tip: Welcome pace in practice. Play with partners who hit harder, or crank up a ball machine. The next time someone unloads a drive across the net, you’ll be ready — maybe even smiling as you think, thanks for the practice ball.
The Bottom Line
Pickleball isn’t about overpowering opponents; it’s about outsmarting them. When you face men and suddenly feel less strong, remember: you bring control, variety, and finesse that their power can’t neutralize.
Stand tall at the kitchen line, use their pace to your advantage, and play like you belong on every court, because you do. In pickleball, confidence isn’t just a mindset — it’s your most powerful weapon.
